


inbox (429)

by breadpoetsociety (orphan_account)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Boys Are Dumb, Canon Compliant, Email Communication, M/M, also keith and lance get drunk that's also the plot, drunk emails, idk pidge made an email service that's the plot, shitpost in fic form honestly, sort of???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 12:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9821252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/breadpoetsociety
Summary: From: Lance [blue@castlemail.com]To: Coran [orange@castlemail.com], Keith [red@castlemail.com]Subject: tomorrowz meetingzz <3yo coran my manJust letting you know that your a motherfuckin g and i’m sorry your like. super old my dude. just like… so old. but you’re not a little bitch like keith so that’s good. fuck keith am i rightAlso i need to ask you to tell allura there’s no way i can do diplomacy training tomorrow. I’m really fucked rn and will b sick af tomorrow.Good fuckin yard,Leandro Alejandro Nuñez Corazon Espinosa, Esquire





	

**Author's Note:**

> pidge set up an email service in the castle and the kids get drunk and shenanigans ensue

Cycle 3, 02:04 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Lance [blue@castlemail.com]  
To: Coran [orange@castlemail.com], Keith [red@castlemail.com]  
Subject: tomorrowz meetingzz <3

yo coran my man

Just letting you know that your a motherfuckin g and i’m sorry your like. super old my dude. just like… so old. but you’re not a little bitch like keith so that’s good. fuck keith am i right

if u want i can hook u up with a girl who would like ur moustache and keep up banging. borrow my bayard……… girls love bayards…. even though you’re old..

Also i need to ask you to tell allura there’s no way i can do diplomacy training tomorrow. I’m really fucked rn and will b sick af tomorrow.

keep slayin boi and i forgot to do training……………..loop again.

love u and see you tomorrow. also keith says hello

Good fuckin yard,

Leandro Alejandro Nuñez Corazon Espinosa, Esquire

–

 **Lance Espinosa  
** Blue Paladin of Voltron  
Galaxy Garrison Class of 2118  
blue@castlemail.com

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 9:32 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Coran [orange@castlemail.com]  
To: Lance [blue@castlemail.com], Keith [red@castlemail.com]  
Subject: re: tomorrowz meetingzz <3

Hello!

Sounds like you had a great night, Lance! I will tell Allura to reschedule your training for another quintant. You may want to message Shiro, as well; I know he was planning to attend.

I appreciate your concern for my age. We could discuss your ability to “hook me up” with a moustache-appreciating lady at dinner.

I support your desire to copulate with the Red Paladin. Feel free to ask for any advice, my boy. I used to be called the Corantic– like romantic. Ha ha! ;-)

On a side note– were you drinking nunville last night? I’d like to know where you keep that stash so that next time you email me I don’t have to remember what you said.

Good yard,

Coran

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 9:45 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Lance [blue@castlemail.com]  
To: Coran [orange@castlemail.com]  
Subject: RE: re: tomorrowz meetingzz <3

Holy christ Coran why did you reply all on that message and why did you say copulate I thought you loved me I need to talk to you immediately

* * *

 

Cycle 3, 03:01 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Lance [blue@castlemail.com]  
To: Allura [princess@castlemail.com], Shiro [black@castlemail.com]  
Subject: d0NASt read this emaiL!!!! READ THIsl12

hey babe ;) i’m in the observatory deck and i can’t help but to think……… even though we’re in space………. you’re the brightest star

plus shiro’s clothes would look great lying on your floOUakjsd0192u1 alksjd

keith tried to s top me from sending this but he CanT look goodbye mom and dad

love lance

–

 **Lance Espinosa  
** Blue Paladin of Voltron  
Galaxy Garrison Class of 2118  
blue@castlemail.com

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 10:15 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Allura [princess@castlemail.com]  
To: Lance [blue@castlemail.com]  
Subject: re: d0NASt read this emaiL!!!! READ THIsl12

Hello Lance,

Coran told me you wouldn’t be able to meet today. We can do diplomacy training tomorrow. Please make sure to keep up on your readings about the Harik and the Olkari.

Also, I do think it is unfair to Keith to be flirting with me when he is your boy friend? Hunk tells me that’s generally frowned upon on Earth. I hope I am not making assumptions about your intentions with me.

Shiro also would like for you to not call us “mom and dad.” However, since I know you miss home, I think it is cute. :-)

Hope you had a lovely night,

Allura

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 10:29 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Lance [blue@castlemail.com]  
To: Allura [princess@castlemail.com]  
Subject: RE: re: d0NASt read this emaiL!!!! READ THIsl12

WE’RE NOT DATING I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GOING TO KILL CORAN

Thanks though mom, love you.

Lance

* * *

 

Cycle 3, 11:01 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Hunk [yellow@castlemail.com]  
To: Lance [blue@castlemail.com]  
Subject: photos

Hi buddy!

Here’s some photos Pidge took from last night… they’re mostly just you and me. And you and Keith ;)

Breakfast is waiting outside your door along with what looks like the Altean equivalent of aspirin. It shouldn’t kill you I don’t think. Love you bro.

– Hunk

Attached: photo_001.png  
Attached: photo_002.png  
Attached: photo_003.png  
Attached: photo_004.png

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 11:07 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Lance [blue@castlemail.com]  
To: Hunk [yellow@castlemail.com]  
Subject: re: photos

My hunka hunka burning love……. My bro…… don’t you ever put a winky face by Keith’s name ever again.

But………. Love you too.

Lance

* * *

 

Cycle 3, 11:18 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Lance [blue@castleship.com]  
To: Keith [red@castleship.com]  
Subject: re: RE: re: RE: re: best friend one to best friend two

K,

Hunk sent me some photos and there was one of us. Thought you’d like to see it. Hope your headache isn’t as bad as mine.

Lance

Attached: photo_003.png

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 11:21 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Keith [red@castleship.com]  
To: Lance [blue@castleship.com]  
Subject: RE: re: RE: re: RE: re: best friend one to best friend two

You look like an idiot in that picture. If you have aspirin I need it immediately.

Also apologize to Shiro for those emails, he’s panicking about being a father now.

Keith

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 11:26 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Lance [blue@castleship.com]  
To: Keith [red@castleship.com]  
Subject: re: RE: re: RE: re: RE: re: best friend one to best friend two

Love you too Keithy boy. Get fucked.

Lance

* * *

 

Cycle 3, 11:23 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Keith [red@castleship.com]  
To: Shiro [black@castleship.com]  
Subject: very important

Holy fuck, Shiro. Look at this picture. Why did you let me get drunk around him? I’m practically hanging off of his dick. For god’s sake Shiro he’s so cute I want to die.

Attached: photo_003.png

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 11:32 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Shiro [black@castleship.com]  
To: Keith [red@castleship.com]  
Subject: re: very important

I’m glad you want to die because if you ever say “hanging off his dick” to me again I will kill you.

Also, if you want aspirin I have it.

TS

* * *

 

Cycle 3, 12:53 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Pidge [green@castlemail.com]  
To: Lance [blue@castlemail.com], Keith [red@castlemail.com], Hunk [yellow@castlemail.com]  
Subject: remember to drink water today

What’s up guys,

Here’s some video from last night. Have fun. (lenny face)

–

 _Pidge Holt  
_ green@castlemail.com

Attached: gays_in_space.mov

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 12:57 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Keith [red@castlemail.com]  
To: Pidge [green@castlemail.com], Lance [blue@castlemail.com], Hunk [yellow@castlemail.com]  
Subject: re: remember to drink water today

You’ve got to be fucking joking. He kissed me? He kissed me!

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 13:00 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Keith [red@castlemail.com]  
To: Pidge [green@castlemail.com]  
Subject: RE: re: remember to drink water today

Pidge! How do I delete an email I sent! I didn’t mean to hit reply all!!!

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 13:02 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Lance [blue@castlemail.com]  
To: Pidge [green@castlemail.com]  
Subject: re: remember to drink water today

look i know there’s other important shit going on here but you meme loving fuck why is “careless whisper” playing in the background

* * *

 

Cycle 3, 13:05 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Lance [blue@castlemail.com]  
To: Hunk [yellow@castlemail.com]  
Subject: im screaming

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

–

 **Lance Espinosa  
** Blue Paladin of Voltron  
Galaxy Garrison Class of 2118  
blue@castlemail.com

* * *

 

Cycle 3, 13:05 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Keith [red@castlemail.com]  
To: Shiro [black@castlemail.com]  
Subject: help

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

* * *

 

Cycle 3, 13:09 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Shiro [black@castlemail.com]  
To: Pidge [green@castlemail.com]  
Subject: the video

You do these things and you know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, Katie.

TS

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 13:14 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Pidge [green@castlemail.com]  
To: Shiro [black@castlemail.com]  
Subject: re: the video

Just wait until we get Matt back.

* * *

 

Cycle 3, 13:29 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Lance [blue@castlemail.com]  
To: Shiro [black@castlemail.com]  
Subject: help me obi wan

Hey Shiro,

Keith told should apologize for sending all of those emails last night.

Also, apparently I kissed him and I haven’t seen him since then and I’m definitely having a panic attack right now did you bring xanax with you from earth or anything. I can’t breathe.

Thanks,

Lance

–

 **Lance Espinosa  
** Blue Paladin of Voltron  
Galaxy Garrison Class of 2118  
blue@castlemail.com

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 13:34 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Shiro [black@castlemail.com]  
To: Lance [blue@castlemail.com]  
Subject: re: help me obi wan

Good afternoon, Lance,

Breath in, and out. Come find me in the control room if you need to talk. And check out this video. It should make you feel better. Good luck.

TS

Attached: keith_crying_happy_tears.mov

* * *

 

Cycle 3, 13:51 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Lance [blue@castleship.com]  
To: Keith [red@castleship.com]  
Subject: re: RE: re: RE: re: RE: re: best friend one to best friend two

K,

I haven’t been able to find you anywhere around the castle and I totally want to respect your space, dude, but I need to talk to you like right now... Can we meet after dinner?

Lance

☆   ☆   ☆

Cycle 3, 13:56 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Keith [red@castleship.com]  
To: Lance [blue@castleship.com]  
Subject: RE: re: RE: re: RE: re: RE: re: best friend one to best friend two

Observation deck in two vargas. Bring nunville.

Keith

* * *

 

Cycle 3, 16:42 CST (Castle Standard Time)

From: Pidge [green@castleship.com]   
To: Shiro [black@castleship.com], Hunk [yellow@castleship.com], Lance [blue@castleship.com], Keith [red@castleship.com], Allura [princess@castleship.com], Coran [orange@castleship.com], Mice [mice@castleship.com]  
Subject: Quarantine

Hey all,

Just a warning to stay away from the observation deck tonight. Keith and Lance took it upon themselves to make sure I would need some serious therapy as soon as we get back home.

Coran, you owe me $20.

Have a good night everyone.

–

 _Pidge Holt  
_ green@castlemail.com

Attached: red_and_blue_make_purple.png

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not sure why i wrote this, but it's all inspired by this conversation between a student and a professor: http://imgur.com/gallery/w7tqd
> 
> hope you all enjoyed! come hang out with me on tumblr @ breadpoetsociety and twitter @ breadpoetsociet


End file.
